Welcome to March

Ah, March. The start of Spring, the month of my birth. It's also home to a lot of other causes:

Adopt A Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) Month
Deaf History Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls' Horizons in Science & Engineering Month
Honor Society Awareness Month
Humorists Are Artists Month
International Expect Success Month
International Ideas Month
International Listening Awareness Month
International Mirth Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
Music In Our Schools Month
National Alternative Fuel Autos Month
National Athletic Training Month
National Caffeine Awareness Month
National Cheerleading Safety Month
National Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month
National Clean Up Your IRS Act Month
National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month
National Craft Month
National Ethics Awareness Month
National Eye Donor Month
National Frozen Food Month
National Multiple Sclerosis Education & Awareness Month
National Kidney Month
National Nutrition Month
National On-Hold Month
National Social Work Month
National Talk to Your Teen About Sex Month
National Umbrella Month
National Women's History Month
Optimism Month
Play The Recorder Month
Poison Prevention Awareness Month
Save Your Vision Month
Small Press Month
Spiritual Wellness Month
Supply Management Month
Workplace Eye Health and Safety Month
Youth Art Month
Holy Humor Month

While most, OK some, of these are worthy causes, do they really need a month in their honor? Such commemorations are a headache for Congress. One-third of the new laws that were passed by Congress named a day, week or month to celebrate.

It's not complicated legislation; no hearings, no reports, no roll call votes. But the telephoning is a nightmare. A commemorative bill needs co-sponsorship by a majority of members of both chambers before it can be considered. That means 218 in the House and 51 in the Senate for each of the 250-odd commemorations that come up in each session. Lining up co-sponsors' signatures takes hundreds of phone calls for each bill, considering how often it's necessary to check and call back, or how often ''he's in a meeting.''

What's the remedy? A Commemorative Commission to take over the designating chore. The recent record of commissions in Washington is mixed, but if this one can get the nation's legislators to spend more time on substantive legislating and less on empty ceremony, it could make this Congressional Progress Year.